Fourteen weeks ago, I was simple-minded fool (like yourselves) just out of high school, low on college credits, and high on stress. In my seemingly futile attempt to pick classes, I stumbled upon a course entitled Digital Art 114. I reminded my self-serving self that I would have to eventually take an art class anyway (because of this supposed "liberal arts" curriculum) and it did fulfill a film studies minor requirement (as if it could bring credit to my already incredible films), so I decided to take it. After fourteen weeks, I discovered that I am the greatest artist who ever lived.
Go ahead. Click on my profile, enter the exhibition, and gaze at the truly amazing work that I've brought to life. You may notice the brilliant title of the show, "Art-tastic". If you need any more proof that I'm a magnificent word-smith, you'll notice that I removed the "fan" out of "fantastic" because my collection will already make enough fans out of the people who see it. I thought it was redundant to have another "fan". But you could've figured that out on your own, right? Didn't think so.
You'll also notice that I didn't write out explanations for the brilliant commentary that each piece provides. I will eventually since most of my readers are too eternally clueless to understand the inner workings of an artist's mind, but for now, my teacher has to grade and be astounded by my awesome work. Therefore, the site for my exhibition must remain simple and banal. An "A" still wouldn't do me justice.
The composition of each piece is so striking that you'll be bashing your heads against the wall wondering what medium I used. Oil-based? Water colors? Crayons? Wrong again. Of course, I used Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator to give life to every one of my babies. Now, you'd assume that using a computer program would make creating an image easier. But once again, you'd be wrong. You think you can click "new layer" and start over? You think you can just open up the edit file and click "undo?" You think you can just press "p" for "picture" and come up with a masterpiece? Don't make me giggle.
So if you'd like to be blown any, just visit the "Art-tastic" exhibition in my profile. But if your mind is too weak to handle my genius (which is probably the case), then go back to your finger-painting and soup cans and leave us real artists to wallow in their own vaginas. Thank you.
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