For Love or Money? I'm Gonna Have to go with the Money

I hesitate to write this post, since I watch an ungodly amount of television and no one will know what the hell I'm talking about. But for the sake of lowering my blood pressure, New Balance has a new ad campaign that asks all the pros out there, in case they've forgotten, "there are two motivations in sports, which is yours? For love or money?" Let me speak on the behalf of all professional athletes and say that they do in fact play for money. They don't have a choice, dipshits. That's what makes them professional athletes, they play to make money. But of course, the ad executives at New Balance are too damn stupid to realize this, so they'll live in an idealistic world where everyone will just play for the love of the game, or they're just pissed at the pros who choose not to endorse their products.
If that wasn't enough, the ads include empty-headed high school athletes acting tough because they supposedly play for the "love" (I wonder if love is the same as devotion, because love doesn't work in this context). Interestingly enough, all of these high schoolers in the commercials are white. Hmmm. Then they start parading around like little assholes telling professional athletes stuff like "this is what floor burn looks like" and "this is what a bunt looks like". Who better to tell us how to play to game then high schoolers? Next I suppose they'll be telling us how important their games are. Oh wait, they aren't. Easy for you to say, dickheads, your livelihood doesn't hinge on your ability to play since nobody gives a shit about high school sports. Let's see how much floor burn you have if your ability to play basketball depends on feeding your family.
But you know what, it doesn't matter. Advertisements are meant to sell products, but apparently that's not how New Balance rolls. Instead, they attempt to lure impressionable idiots into buying their sneakers, thinking that will somehow be sticking it to all the pros out there and playing for the "love" of the game. Fortunately, I have a little more faith in humanity, and people will realize that New Balance shoes blow, regardless of whatever their ads say. However, I still think that internal question, "for love or money" isn't directed towards just professional athletes, but general sports participants all over the world, like me. So if you ask me if I run cross-country or play hockey for love or money, I'm gonna have to say money. And chicks. I play for chicks.