What's Claim to Fame
J.J. Hardy: Early in the season, I threw this guy under the bus. Not only did I throw him under the bus, I drove it forwards and backwards over him several times. However, in the last week, he's been so good, it's stupid. This week alone, Hardy has batted 13 for 33, raising his average about 50 points, with three home runs and 13 RBIs, both doubling his season's totals. Perfect. I anticipate seeing an infield consisting of Prince Fielder, Rickey Weeks, Bill Hall and Hardy showing off World Series rings in a year or two
Mr. David Malaro: Although I haven't seen it, I already know that the movie "The Man" is the latest turd to hit movie theaters this week. Not only does it look shitty, but they miscast Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy as "the man". The movie should've starred Mr. Malaro, my Ethics class teacher. Ironically enough, serving in Vietnam was the best thing that happened to him. His service in the military ultimate forced him to answer the moral questions that everyone faces, and now he wants to impart his knowledge to students like me without any political slant. Thank you, Mr. Malaro. You rock hardcore.
Notre Dame Football: I've been an avid fan of college football since 2001, but I've never had one single team to focus my fanaticism. But once the University of Notre Dame hired former New England offensive coordinator Charlie Weis, I discovered that I desperately wanted the Fighting Irish to do well. Not only because Weis rocks hardcore, but because the poor players are expected to maintain difficult academic standards while win potentially the most gratifying national championship in the history of college football. How the hell do the boosters expect to this team to win a championship with that schedule? Ever notice how every player on a national championship team has majored in football and minored in speech communication (probably used to speak to the press better)? I'm not saying that stadegy helps, but it doesn't hurt either.
J.J. Hardy: Early in the season, I threw this guy under the bus. Not only did I throw him under the bus, I drove it forwards and backwards over him several times. However, in the last week, he's been so good, it's stupid. This week alone, Hardy has batted 13 for 33, raising his average about 50 points, with three home runs and 13 RBIs, both doubling his season's totals. Perfect. I anticipate seeing an infield consisting of Prince Fielder, Rickey Weeks, Bill Hall and Hardy showing off World Series rings in a year or two
Mr. David Malaro: Although I haven't seen it, I already know that the movie "The Man" is the latest turd to hit movie theaters this week. Not only does it look shitty, but they miscast Samuel L. Jackson and Eugene Levy as "the man". The movie should've starred Mr. Malaro, my Ethics class teacher. Ironically enough, serving in Vietnam was the best thing that happened to him. His service in the military ultimate forced him to answer the moral questions that everyone faces, and now he wants to impart his knowledge to students like me without any political slant. Thank you, Mr. Malaro. You rock hardcore.
Notre Dame Football: I've been an avid fan of college football since 2001, but I've never had one single team to focus my fanaticism. But once the University of Notre Dame hired former New England offensive coordinator Charlie Weis, I discovered that I desperately wanted the Fighting Irish to do well. Not only because Weis rocks hardcore, but because the poor players are expected to maintain difficult academic standards while win potentially the most gratifying national championship in the history of college football. How the hell do the boosters expect to this team to win a championship with that schedule? Ever notice how every player on a national championship team has majored in football and minored in speech communication (probably used to speak to the press better)? I'm not saying that stadegy helps, but it doesn't hurt either.
What's Claim to Lame
Pilot Sunglasses: Every so often, a fashionable accessory is worn by a person in an effort to say that he or she is a condescending prick. Pilot sunglasses fill that void nicely. Not only are these sunglass worn by dicks, but they are permeantly attached to their face, even indoors. Nice job, asshole, ruin your eyesight, at least you'll look cool. It's been almost twenty years since that nuclear turd of a movie "Top Gun" was released, and the shades remain unpopular. Only pilots should be allowed to where those sunglasses, and I don't see you in a uniform, douche bag.
Social Justice: It's not that I care about people experiencing social injustice because I do. But what I didn't know is that the United States government was to blame for every atrocity in the history of the world. The Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict all spread blood across the hands of the United States. I blame my school for ruining the concept of social justice. The course taught me nothing, but to hate America and commit suicide as quickly as possible. Rather than look deeper into the causes of social justice or to examine ways to prevent it, we just observed ways the United States has prepetuated issues of social justice. Thank You, Mr. teacher who shall remain nameless.
Green Day: I recently came to the revelation that the band Green Day is not actually punk. No, in fact, Green Day is stupid. When I listen to music, I expect it to rock. But no, Green Day would rather prattle on about how they hate the war and President Bush. My favorite is their recent hit "American Idiot". In this particular song, they whine that the media manipulates the masses. Gee wiz, I didn't know Green Day was playing in another form of media and that they weren't manipulating impressionably idiotic fans who take their every word as gospel. Now I understand perfectly.
Pilot Sunglasses: Every so often, a fashionable accessory is worn by a person in an effort to say that he or she is a condescending prick. Pilot sunglasses fill that void nicely. Not only are these sunglass worn by dicks, but they are permeantly attached to their face, even indoors. Nice job, asshole, ruin your eyesight, at least you'll look cool. It's been almost twenty years since that nuclear turd of a movie "Top Gun" was released, and the shades remain unpopular. Only pilots should be allowed to where those sunglasses, and I don't see you in a uniform, douche bag.
Social Justice: It's not that I care about people experiencing social injustice because I do. But what I didn't know is that the United States government was to blame for every atrocity in the history of the world. The Holocaust, the Rwandan genocide, and the Israeli-Palestinian conflict all spread blood across the hands of the United States. I blame my school for ruining the concept of social justice. The course taught me nothing, but to hate America and commit suicide as quickly as possible. Rather than look deeper into the causes of social justice or to examine ways to prevent it, we just observed ways the United States has prepetuated issues of social justice. Thank You, Mr. teacher who shall remain nameless.
Green Day: I recently came to the revelation that the band Green Day is not actually punk. No, in fact, Green Day is stupid. When I listen to music, I expect it to rock. But no, Green Day would rather prattle on about how they hate the war and President Bush. My favorite is their recent hit "American Idiot". In this particular song, they whine that the media manipulates the masses. Gee wiz, I didn't know Green Day was playing in another form of media and that they weren't manipulating impressionably idiotic fans who take their every word as gospel. Now I understand perfectly.
1 comment:
Will they build a "Fiord"?
Will they build a "Fiord"? Just months after a business alliance between General Motors Corp.
If you are looking to lose weight fast get some tips from my how to lose weight related site. It should help you out a lot
Post a Comment