George W. Bush is the greatest president who ever lived. Ever.

I'm serious. Few appreciate how great a president George Walker Bush is. And even more amazing is the manner in which he has established his greatness as the leader of the free world; starting and failing to end an impossible-to-win war, increasing the national deficit, mutilating the English language every time he opens his mouth. Sure, some presidents take the easy way out in becoming great leaders by doing what what's logical and what everybody wants. But like a person into leather, chains, and gag balls, G.W.B likes things the hard way.
Now, I must admit, I make these claims with a tiny shred of bias. But before Democrats can say "he's a hick, let's smoke some pot", or even Republicans can say "then he's a hippy, to the big business-mobile", my favoritism for Dubbya falls far beyond the normal headache-inducing, ED-causing political rhetoric. No, my bias for Bush begins with my love for defending the defenseless and giving a voice to those who either can't speak English or can't speak it that well, like the sweat shop owner, or the baby seal clubber, or good ol' Dubbya himself. Of course, if you could say that if I truly wanted to help the disenfranchised, I would defend the various peoples being suppressed by greedy corporations or oppressive governments. Unfortunately, I can't, since I don't have a documentary film crew following me at all times...yet.
I also connect to Bush on a human level. At times, it doesn't feel as though George is president of the United States. Instead, he's like the president of the AV club, or the chess team, or any other position of leadership that is just asking for scrutiny and insults. I've calculated that in six years, Dubbya has taken more flack than Hitler, Stalin, and Castro combined. I came to this conclusion after realizing that although all three of those men are more despicable than Bush, none of them were as stupid. Therefore, Bush not only takes criticism for historians and everyday people, but he also takes shit from the scum of the Earth; wannabe stand-up comedians who can't find good material even if it bit them in the ass.
But all biases aside, I believe George W. Bush is the greatest president ever because has passed the most important piece of legislation in the history of United States. It's called Murphy's Law.
As you already know, Murphy's Law states that anything that possibly can go wrong, will. For a self-proclaimed Christian, I can't conceive how God could have screwed Bush more. In one and a half terms, his administration has faced the worse tragedy in our nation's history, one of the most complicated and difficult wars we've fought in our nation's history, and one of the most destructive hurricanes to cross the continent in our nation's history. I don't care if you have one or more brain cells or gubernatorial brothers that got you into the White House, no one deserves to be held responsible for that many unforeseeable disasters.
However, if you do hold Bush accountable for all those misfortunes, then look no further than the second interpretation of Murphy's Law, which states that things will go wrong if you let them. Now, if you look past the bad intelligence that got us into an unnecessary war, or the failed attempts to prevent environmental harm that could've caused a stronger hurricane season, or the unnecessary tax cuts that ran up the nation's deficit and prevented the funding of our troops overseas and the reconstruction effort in New Orleans, then these catastrophes aren't exactly Bush's fault. But since people can't look beyond these menial oversights, the president must be held accountable. But I'm glad that so many do hold Bush responsible for these disasters because it sets a precedent for future presidents to never fuck up. For if even the slightest thing goes wrong and "The Daily Show" picks up on it, then the American people will blame the president whether it's his fault or not (notice how I didn't include the word "her" beside "him").
Therefore, I predict that when my children sit in their history classes, reading over their text book material on their Blackberries, and look back on George W. Bush's presidency, they won't see the negativity swirling around 9/11, the war in Iraq, and Hurricane Katrina. Instead, they will see the positive outcomes that emerged from Bush's passing of Murphy's Law. And if my kids do see that negativity in their textbooks, then it's home school for them (Stupid biased, revisionist historians. I hate those bastards so much).