After a long period of consideration, I have created a master thesis: intelligent design officially rocks the socks off of evolution. Unfortunately, evolution is simply too scientific and definite. Unlike intelligent design, it doesn’t allow your imagination to run wild. Just imagine how awesome it would be have some superior being launching fire and brimstone from the skies just to create various species. I can picture it right now, God chilling at the end of the universe and making dinosaurs appear at the snap of all twelve of his fingers. Then, he sends a figurative middle finger to those stupid lizards in the form of an asteroid. Oh man, I bet your ass is hurting right now from being kicked so hard.
Plus, the first few chapters of the Book of Genesis gives people another opportunity of blame themselves for something, which seems to be the hot trend today. You find it all over the news: “Oh, it’s our fault global warming exists, it’s our fault terrorism still exists.” Even the theory of the giant spaghetti monster has enough power to rock crotches across America.
Now, let’s examine the theory of evolution for a moment. I won’t write out the exact definition because I’ll probably fall asleep half way through. So I’ll just draw a diagram to illustrate my point:
*YAWN* Let’s face it, evolution is b-o-r-i-n-g dull. No wonder state legislatures are permitting the teaching intelligent design in public schools. School is boring enough as it is. Hell, church is boring enough, so you can’t blame religious leaders for attempting to inject some excitement into it. So, if anything, we can all agree that although people who believe in intelligent design may be stupid, they, at the very least, keep things interesting. Give them credit for that.
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