"Quiznos": Italian for Sandwich Perfection

I usually reserve my days off for visiting my favorite culinary place in the whole wide world (since I'll be damned if I have to make my own lunch). Just ten minutes for my home is the Mecca of all sub shops, Quizno's, otherwise known as Perfect Food Capital, um, Place...USA. In over twenty visits to Quizno's, I have never been disappointed. However, on the 3rd of February, 2006, my most recent visit was slightly less perfect than I expected it to be.
I arrived promptly at 1:30 PM and ordered my usually Traditional Sub, which is a divine almagamation of ham, turkey, roast beef, lettuce, mayo, and tomato. However, the employees, who I know on a first name basis, finalized the order of one man who was behind me in line before they finalized mine. With my brother already sinking his teeth into the culinary orgy of deliciousness that is a Quizno sub, I obviously become agitated. However, my slight disappointment turned into outright rage when sandwich superman Max did not slice my sub in half as he usually does. Despite this egregious error, I decided to bite my lip and take this mistake like a man (Others would normally throw a hissy fit in this situation, but not me). But when I sat down to partake in lunchtime bliss, Quizno's maintained its DiMaggio-like streak of satisfying meals. In retrospect, being disappointed by a break in usual protocal is like being disappointed by the Super Bowl because the commercials weren't good. As always, the focus of the Super Bowl is the game, and the focus of Quizno's is always the sandwich.
The greatness of Quizno's Subs became quite clear after I paid my first visit to the sub shop in the summer of 2004. That visit became the highlight of my day, even though I visited the Grand Canyon on that very same day. Yes, the holiest of all fast food restaurants outshined the grandeur and majesty of the Grand Canyon. I bet God eats Quizno's whenever He's hungry, and whatever comes out of God after He's done eating becomes the food the food they use at Subway.
Taking a bite into a Traditional Sub at Quizno's is like treating your mouth to massage. You can combine every delicious food that you've ever eaten in your entire lives, and I guarantee that it won't even come close to the fattening glory that is a Quizno sub. How good is a Quizno sub, you ask? Have you ever had an orgasm? Multiply that by fifty, and you'll know how it feels to sink your teeth into perfection between two slices of bread. Visit your local Quizno's immidiately if not sooner, and I guarantee that your dining experience will change the way you look at food forever. And don't worry, the check from Quizno's has already cleared, that's why this is my first post in a month.